The End Is Here

I've gone over the situation again and again. I took everybody's advice into consideration. And I finally made a decision. I wanted to give LOML one last chance.

Why?

Haven't you guys figured it out yet. I am madly in love with her. One of my favourite sayings is "Nothing worth having comes easy". And with all her quirks, she is still worth it.

But, I had to protect myself from going through this crap again. So I had to have her friend convince her to answer the phone. She did, and I went through all the speeches. We argued. We yelled. And she kept quiet.

What I told her was, I'm giving this whole breaking up fiasco of hers one more chance. I will give it all just one more time. I heart can't take it anymore. I told her that things are going to be tougher later. I will have to relocate for my job. Won't know when I'll be able to come back. So soon, it's going to turn into a long distance relationship (probably one of the reasons she wanted to break up in the first place). I told her that even though I won't be physically there most of the time, I will be there to support her in her time of loneliness. I will do my best. I am her to stick it out and make the relationship work (yet again).

But she has to commit now, and try her best as well (I know she's not perfect, but I want her to try to make it work). If she still wants to proceed with the breakup, then that's it forever. I will never take her back. Same goes if she commits now and then, after a moment of insecurity, wants to break up, it will be forever.

She finally decided that she wants to go our separate ways. I needed the closure, so I sent all her stuff to her place right after that.

She kept the 'egoist' face the whole time. Like the process didn't matter at all to her... Kind of gave it away...

We didn't say goodbye. It was just an 'ok' and a nod.

And so ends another chapter in my life. I'm sad because she promised me forever. And she couldn't do it because 'she didn't want to share me with my family, work and friends'. Basically, she wants all or nothing.

Women lie... they are full of empty promises... This is the third time in my life that this has happened. Why? Because I'm too nice. I give them the world. So the slightest bump in the road, they cry foul. And they leave.

I'm starting to think that I'll be lonely for the rest of my life. It's not that I won't try again for a meaningful relationship... but the scars I carry will be a big obstacle.

I'm too sentimental... People say it's because I'm a scorpio. I don't know... Must be because I have white knights syndrome!

We've been through a lot together. She'll definitely have a special place in my heart...

Alone again...