Trust

Trust is always earned... and it's increadibly easy to lose. Once you've lost it, it's very hard to get back.

I on the other hand trust people right off the bat. They didn't have to earn it. I always assume the best in people. But once that trust is broken, then it will be damn near impossible for me to ever trust that person again.

And it doesn't have to be a very large lie... it could be the smallest things, but once that precedent has been set, I start to doubt everything which comes out of that person's mouth.

Kind of harsh.

Now you have to be clear on the difference between trust issues and jealousy.

Jealousy is when you hear questions like "Who is she... why did she sign the card with a heart... why did you take a picture with her"... which is then replied with "she works in the same office... I've been telling you about her from day one... I don't know why she put the heart on the card... they were taking pictures and she happened to be beside me... here's a few pictures of me with othe people..." It's then followed by... "I LOVE YOU... MUAH MUAH MUAH"... and things are ok after that...

Trust issues would sound like this...

Woman : Why did she say that to you?
Man : I don't know. Maybe she's being nice. This is the first time I've ever talked to her. And she did all the talking... All I said was 'OK'. I never thought of it in any other way... that's why I told you about it.
Woman : Cut the crap. There must be something going on between you two!
Man : Huh!?
Woman : You're lying!!
Man : Huh!?
Woman : You cheating bastard!!
Man : Huh!?
Woman : Give me your phone, your email and IM passwords, and the keys to you car and house!! I'm going to find out what you've been doing behind my back with her!!!
Man : Huh!?

There usually is an underlying reason why people have trust issues... past relationships, you were caught lying, blah blah blah... but you have to talk about it... you have to let your guard down and tell "THE TRUTH"... because no matter how honest you think you are, you will never tell your loved one the whole truth about how you feel, and what hurts you.

It's difficult... I know... I'm trying to do it... but the more you tell that person what's bugging you, the better you feel... and the more you realise that there's no major problem there... and you start thinking "why am I so stupid that I start this fight"... when that revelation has entered you mind, then things are going to get better...

But you have to start that talk/argument... if you were going to say to yourself "it's just stupid... forget about it", then it will haunt you! So just get it out... look stupid. Doesn't matter... you're being stupid in front of somebody who loves you. They might want to tear your head off, but they'll understand.

Then, you have to keep an open mind while your loved one looks stupid and tells you the real reasons they don't trust you...

Difficult eh... you can do it, but how do you get the other person to participate...?

If I knew all the answers, I would be totally happy and not be writing this blog, now would I! ;)