The wise S once said to me that LOML is my destiny... no matter how we try to be apart, something will happen that brings us back together... and we will have to just accept the misery that comes with that... when we are together we are miserable, but yet we are infinitely happy... when apart, then we are only miserable...
When I think about it, yeah, that might be the case... it seems that somebody will fold... and that somebody will say "Damn it!! I still love you!! And I know you still love me!! So stop this bullshit and plant a wet one on me!!"
Why did I just imagine myself as a cowboy and actually say those exact words?
Anyway, something happned on Friday night... something always happens...
I was planning on going out... blah blah blah... ended up not going anywhere and fell asleep in front of the tv. At 3am, I receive a text message. "B, come and rescue me". (As of this point you should know that we both call each other Baby, and short form is, well, B. So don't get confused with fact the this blog is called "The Life of H", and there's references to a friend named B.)
As an ex-bf who is still madly in love with her, I immediately called... she was in her car, pissed drunk and alone... and she was bawling... I panicked... I thought something happened to her... so I drove like a madman... and well, rescued her... I took her home to my place and took care of her...
You see... something will always happen... now here she is in 'our' bed... she was in need, and the one she trusts and wants is me...
so we spent the whole of saturday talking... in each other's arms, no less... we didn't even have breakfast until 7pm...
The next day we talked for a few hours on the phone... we are still talking now...
What we want is each other... we realise that we will be slightly miserable... she can't help it but release some steam... it's the only way she can prevent herself from going insane... there are aspects of my life that we can't do anything about... I go on as normal, drives her nuts... I do something about it, she feels guilty, and it will drive her nuts...
So now here she is waiting for an answer from me... will I take her back and love her with all her quirks...? Wow... now that's an interesting question...
I broke up with her because of it... now she wants me to turn the other cheek and just accept it when it happens... of course she will try to tone it down a few notches... since she knows what is the root cause of it all...
Can I make this sacrifice... basically, have to tell myself "she doesn't mean it" every time... 90% of me says YES... another 10% is affraid that I can't and I end up hurt, and I end up hurting her...
I have to make a decision soon... the suspense is killing me... I want to know how this story ends!
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